What if... we all had leadership development buddies?

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Many of us have someone we walk with, exercise with or turn to when life becomes difficult. Having another person alongside us can give us encouragement, a different perspective and a reason to keep going.

What if we brought that same companionship and commitment to becoming better leaders of our lives?

Imagine having someone who regularly makes time to explore what you are learning, how you are thinking, who you are becoming and the impact you are having. Someone who cares about your progress, is willing to challenge you respectfully and welcomes you doing the same for them.

A leadership development buddy

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You would not need a management role or a particular qualification to have one. At Maximy, leadership includes the responsibility we take for our lives and the influence we have through our everyday choices. We exercise it as parents, friends, colleagues, neighbours and citizens, as well as through formal positions.

There is always something to learn about ourselves, the world around us and how we contribute to it.

A buddy could help us turn that learning into an ongoing part of life.

At Maximy, we explore development through three interconnected ways: Potential Practice, Leadership Core and Leadership In Action. A buddy could help us strengthen each of them - and make the connections between them.

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Our Potential Practice...

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involves stepping back from immediate demands to explore the bigger picture: what we know, what we do not know, the perspectives we consider and the futures we could help create.

It is easy to spend our days responding to whatever is most urgent. We can read familiar sources, have familiar conversations and reinforce familiar conclusions, without noticing how much lies outside our view.

A buddy could help us lift our heads.

Together, we could explore a subject we know little about, compare different interpretations of an issue or examine something we have both accepted as true. We could ask where our understanding came from and what might change it.

Our conversations might include:

What have you learnt recently that changed how you seesomething?

Whose perspective is missing from your understanding?

What do you feel certain about, and how well supported isthat certainty?

What threats and opportunities are you noticing - for yourself, your family, your organisation or the wider world?

What would a brighter future look like, and what could help make it possible?

Imagine two buddies discussing how AI might affect their working lives. They could compare their current understanding, explore unfamiliar possibilities, identify what they need to learn and consider how they want to use the time or capacity they might gain.

Or imagine two parents exploring what their children may need to thrive in a changing world - and questioning whether their current priorities reflect that.

A buddy could help us broaden what we see, deepen what we understand and become more deliberate about the future we are helping to build.

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Our Leadership Core...

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concerns what we bring to life: our self-leadership, our capabilities and behaviours, and the support and resources available to us.

Here, a buddy could help us develop greater self-awareness, self-knowledge, self-understanding and self-management.

We might notice that we repeatedly leave important decisionsuntil we are exhausted. That we become defensive when our competence is questioned. That we say family matters most while giving our loved ones the least attentive version of ourselves.

A trusted buddy could help us explore these patterns with curiosity and care.

They might ask: “You have mentioned feeling overwhelmed in our last three conversations. What do you think is contributing to that?” Or: “When you describe the occasions you felt most energised, what do they have in common?”

Their observations would be a perspective to consider, alongside our own reflection and feedback from others. Neither person would have a complete view of the other.

We could also help each other develop practical capabilities: listening, reasoning, communicating, managing disagreement, learning effectively or using technology. We could rehearse a difficult conversation, share useful resources or reflect on an attempt to change a habit.

And we could examine our support:

Who helps you think clearly and challenges your assumptions?

What knowledge, skills or resources would help you move forward?

Where are you trying to manage alone when support would make a difference?

What helps you protect your time, energy and wellbeing?

What strength could you use more effectively?

Sometimes, the most useful contribution would be helping a buddy recognise progress they have overlooked. Sometimes, it would be helping them admit that something needs to change.

A buddy could help us understand ourselves more honestly and build the capabilities and support to live and lead more effectively.

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Our Leadership In Action...

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is where our thinking anddevelopment become visible through the roles we fulfil, the decisions we make, the actions we take and the impact we have.

Good intentions need opportunities to become practice.

A buddy could help us choose a specific situation in which to apply what we are learning. We might decide to listen more carefully during a family disagreement, invite challenge before making a work decision or follow through on a commitment to our community.

Beforehand, we could ask: “What would doing this well look like? Who will be affected? What could get in the way?”

Afterwards, we could explore what actually happened.

Did we behave as we intended? What did other people experience? What feedback have we sought? What improved – and what needs another attempt?

Consider someone who wants to become a better listener. Their buddy could help them prepare for a conversation, choose a practical change – such as pausing before responding – and reflect afterwards. Crucially, they could encourage them to ask the person involved whether they felt heard.

That brings development closer to its purpose: making a meaningful difference in lived experience.

A buddy could help us turn insight into action, examine the results and keep learning from the impact we have.

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These three ways would continually inform one another.

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Exploring a different perspective through our Potential Practice might reveal a gap in our Leadership Core. Developing a capability could improve our Leadership In Action. Feedback from that action could prompt us to reconsider our understanding.

The relationship itself would need care. Buddies would need to agree what they want from it, what stays confidential, how they prefer to be challenged and how much time they can realistically offer. Both would need space to think and be heard.

Warmth and honesty would matter. So would the freedom to say, “I see this differently,” “I am not ready to discuss that,” or “This may need support beyond what we can offer each other.” A buddy can complement the contribution of qualified coaches and other professionals.

Getting started could be simple: a regular conversation,perhaps every fortnight, built around three questions:

What are you seeing and learning?

What are you discovering and developing in yourself?

What are you putting into practice, and what difference is it making?

Each conversation could end with one realistic commitment and an agreement about how to follow up. There would also need to be room for rest, uncertainty, setbacks and celebration. Development should support a fuller life.

What might change if conversations like these became common place?

If young people had someone to explore their assumptions and possibilities with? If parents regularly reflected on the atmosphere they create at home? If people leading organisations had a trusted peer who asked about the consequences of their decisions? If more of us welcomed thoughtful challenge and offered it with care?

A leadership development buddy would not give us all the answers. They could help us make time for better questions – and stay with those questions long enough to do something useful.

Who could you invite to become your leadership development buddy – and what kind of buddy would you be for them?

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Thanks for reading.

Best,

Rob

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